Sacred Bridge

When I first began learning from my Q’ero teachers in the Andes, the most prominent prayer we worked with was how acknowledge the supports of the Earth around us, invite them in to our sacred space and say thank you.

In all of the indigenous traditions I have been lucky enough to participate in, gratitude and acknowledgement comes first. Before any prayer, before any request, there is an offering of thanks.

Over the years, I have come to see that this order of things, giving thanks first and then giving, is not only a spiritual protocol. It is medicine.

Ayni: the circle of sacred reciprocity

The Q’ero people of Peru have a word at the heart of their way of life: ayni. It is often translated as sacred reciprocity: Ayni is the understanding that everything alive exists in a living exchange. The Earth feeds us, and we feed her back with our care and our prayers. A neighbor helps build our house, and we help with their harvest. Nothing is taken without something being returned.

In this view, gratitude and generosity are not two separate virtues. They are two halves of one circle. Gratitude is how we receive well, noticing what has been given to us. Generosity is how we give back, letting what we have received keep moving. When the circle flows, there is circulation. Circulation is essential for good health. When reciprocity is out of balance, when we only take, or only give until we are depleted, something in us and around us begins to suffer.

So much of the pain I witness in spiritual counseling comes back to a broken circle. Some of us have learned to give endlessly while never letting ourselves receive. Others feel so much scarcity that it is hard to see what we already have. Both are invitations to come back into ayni.

The medicine of gratitude

Gratitude changes where our attention rests. The mind naturally has a tendency to lean toward what is missing or threatening; that tendency helped our ancestors survive. But when that is the only place our attention goes, life starts to feel like a problem to be solved rather than a gift to be lived.

Modern research echoes what the old traditions have always known. In a well-known study by psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, people who wrote down a few things they were grateful for each week felt better about their lives as a whole and more optimistic about the week ahead than people who wrote about hassles or neutral events. They even reported fewer physical complaints and spent more time exercising.

In my own experience, gratitude softens my body and opens my heart wider. I can feel an inner flow and even overflow of inner resource and generosity that has it’s natural urge to share and offer. In remembering all the supports that come together to help us live, it is easier to remember that we are held by something larger than ourselves: by the sun that rose this morning, the water we drank, the people who grew our food, the ancestors whose lives made ours possible. That remembering is itself a kind of healing. When I think of all the teachings, teachers, perspectives, and ways to honor life that I have been given, I naturally feel a sense of service to all of that which I have been given, and it fills me with a sense of deeper alignment and purpose, which in turn rightfully locates me in this world, and life is supported with heartfelt meaning.

The medicine of generosity

If gratitude is the in-breath, generosity is the out-breath. It completes the cycle.

Here too, science is catching up with wisdom. In research led by Elizabeth Dunn, Lara Aknin and Michael Norton, people who were given a small amount of money and asked to spend it on someone else ended the day happier than those who spent it on themselves. The amount did not matter much. The act of giving did.

Generosity does not have to mean money. It can be your full attention offered to a friend. It can be time, a meal, a prayer, a kindness to a stranger, tending a garden or picking up trash on a beach. What matters is the spirit behind it: giving freely, as an expression of our connection, rather than out of obligation or a wish to be seen.

I love the imagery of our being as the hollow reed. Like a channel that is open to all that moves through it but does not lay claim to that which runs through it, we can open ourselves to what life offers us and take great enjoyment in creatively letting it flow from ourselves into the world. This way of living can feel so humbly fulfilling, and in itself is devotional.

A simple gratitude offering practice

1. Gather a few natural things. A handful of seeds or grains, some flower petals, a few leaves. Choose what feels beautiful to you.
2. Arrive. Find a small area near your home or in your yard that speaks to you. Take three slow breaths. Feel your feet on the ground and let yourself be here.
3. Say hello. Acknowledge the land. It’s ancient nature. The way it supports and sustains us all. Introduce yourself and your intention for coming to it.
4. Give thanks with each piece. Hold one petal or seed at a time. Name something you are grateful for, out loud or silently, and breathe that gratitude into it. Place it down with care and intention.
5. Listen. Listen with your body, your energy and your feelings. See if you can sense an echo back. Don’t think too hard about it. See what happens.

Notice how your day feels from then onwards. The world might look a little more alive, and you may feel a little less alone in it.

Honoring the circle of life

Gratitude and generosity are not about pretending everything is fine. They are practices of relationship. They remind us that we belong to a web of life that gives to us constantly, and that we have something to give back. When we live this way, healing happens not only within us but between us, and with the Earth herself, and can bring a sense of wholeness.

At Sacred Bridge, we offer nature-based ritual, including gratitude mandalas and offerings made on behalf of individuals, families and communities. If you are longing to reconnect with the sacred in your own life, spiritual counseling offers a space to explore that. And if this reflection moves you to give, you can support Sacred Bridge and help make this work accessible to others.

With gratitude,
Jen